Arm The Squirrels.

The university where I work has a squirrel problem. Of sorts. There are quite a lot of squirrels on that campus, but I have not heard of anyone actually being attacked. The squirrels just seem to intimidate people. And since there are so many of them, and they can climb trees, and they cause acorns to fall on passersby's heads, I can't say as blame the people. Animals are crazy and should never be trusted. Especially not house cats. I say this because my cat is pure evil. Which can be fun when people come over, but it can also result in a situation where I'm having to dial 9-1-1 while mopping up blood, and that's just inconvenient.

But enough about the cat. We're here to talk about squirrels.

I like to come up with ideas for stickers. Hopefully one day I will actually get off of my butt and get some made, but until that day I just make the digital image for fun. And here is my latest:



That's the size the sticker would be. Now imagine if you started to see these in a high traffic area like a campus or downtown or something like that. You're walking along, minding your own, and you notice a sticker that states "ARM THE SQUIRRELS." It's not a demand or rallying cry ("Hey everyone! We've got to band together and ARM THE SQUIRRELS!") It's as if arming the squirrels was the solution. Solution to what, I don't know.

I don't think this sticker would go over too well. I think that people wouldn't see it the way that I do (I know! It's hard to believe!) and so they would just be confused or annoyed by the sticker. The best I could hope for is that people would just think of it as some sort of absurdity and snicker and move on. I'm okay with that. But I would like to think that there are people who would see it and think, "Yeah. Arming the squirrels seems like the next logical step. We should get on that." But that won't happen. I base this on the fact that I made a bunch of labels on a Brady label maker that said "Poop." and stuck them all over the place. The few responses that I happened to over hear from people who saw the stickers were things like, "Hey, someone put a sticker that says 'poop' on it on that stop sign!" and I really wanted them to say, "There's poop on that stop sign" or "Careful! There's poop on that door knob!" I guess it was just too abstract. So I have to make stickers that are simple or really cool. I don't think this one makes it.

But I still think it's funny.